The ultimate end of the day cook challenge - Tuna fish rice pie

Hellooo! :D This week I will start testing some recipes for dinner, to get an idea of what is practical and not in terms of time and quantity.

This Tuna fish rice pie recipe is perfect for 6 portions.

You need to cook 1 kg rice previously and you are good to go.

Conclusion:

This dinner took way too long and is not apropriate for the end of the day, at all!

Gosh I am K.O.

Positive points:

Tomorrow we have lunch for work and no big head ache at the end of the day! :D

BIG +:

Mouth orgasmic taste

Enjoy! 

Ni

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Tuna fish rice pie

4 questions we should ask ourselves

How much of your day are you consuming what others have produced by themselves and how often do you create?

 How can you build a platform this year for you to stand on next year?

What are you doing what actually matters?

How can you inject more of the awe into your life?

Too much! I had this thought once, more food related, but now I am actually directing this text to what we want to do with our lives personally and professionally.

How dependent of others are we? How much am I contributing to the world?How much am I really just taking? I´m talking about an horizont of things, like the buildings we live in, the cars we drive (or want to), the media we use, like the small things we use daily, the apps on our phones, the space what we call our habitat, the food we eat, the movies we watch, the mass of advertisement we consume.

This is in reality nothing else than the dreams of others we extended in our own life.

The thing is that nowadays most of the people just live their lives with the purpose of fitting in, some of them because they just have gone with the flow and were never really preocupite taking time to think about it, others just need to stop the time and reorganize what they really want, like in my case.

A couple of months ago I applied for an internal career development program in the company I work for.

I finished the whole thing and did the final exam and was approved, but before I should repeat the same exam a month later to settle the program I started writting this text.. and refused.

I was frankly to myself and conscience enough to open my eyes at this point and reconsider if those were  really the steps I wanted to go, the conclusion was NO.

It was frustrating for me, spending time on something I though it would be right because my life had brought me this oportunity and it was hard to be honest with myself and deny it! 

It was an oportunity for a career I never wanted to have, it was someone elses dream that I thought I could go for. But would I be happy with it? was there anything in this dream that has something to do with my dreams my ambitions?NO.

Later a lot of situations happened and on a Friday I was asked in the office of the Manager of my project.

I had some previous manifests of demotivation and she/he wanted to talk to me to know how things would be from now on.

I did something, that probably no one in a work enviroment ever should do, when talking to a boss. 

Beeing honest! :D

I said exactly the same thing I wrote before in other words. Beside the fact that I haven´t learned much for such a HUGE improvement the program standed for, I just couldn´t see myself in all the possible roles they might have offered me. I just haven´t spend so much time of my life persuing what I love doing, to shut me down in an everyones comercial career dream. 

Good or bad, this kind of thinking is a threat for every big company, when you are not willing to fit in, you´re out. Not legally but you will be marked. Respect is something what starts to be served with a portion of cynicism. Beeing your boss directly attached to such a system, it will be hard for him/her to tell you that you are right. Beeing you a compreensive person, you feel sorry for him/her because the free will of choice you have, is a sign of courage she/he could never state due to ethic restrictions she/he should stand for in the name of the company.

I will stay till I have to, but hard working on the direction I want to go! 

Now I am just filling a job and preparing myself to create one. 

Because I am not creating money, I am surviving based on what everyone else think it´s acceptable. It´s not!

No one I know is creating values, just paychecks based on everyone elses dreams.

So what is our consumer vs creator ratio?

A friend of mine Angy, told me that my time came and significant changes will start beginning.

Positioning myself to create more is not done with the next best choice which knocks on my door, which gaves me more of what I already know.

It´s actually filtering what you have what´s missing in all the base concepts you already took part of or experienced on your own. 

It´s molding something new, with a certain doses awe you start injecting in your life.

It will not happen by the usual way everyone tries to open doors and get possibilities to show on someone elses platforms what they are made of , but more about building your own platform where you can start develop and creating your own values.

Our minds get so engrained in the mundane patterns of every day life that it becomes harder and harder for us to break outside of these patterns and encourage ourselves to do actually something to earn money what excites us.

If you are aware of all of this, you can count with an infinite amount of work, because at this point the limit is as far as your mind stretches. What is matematically neverending :)

Based on this we can get to the next question, about what are we doing what really matters?

We set ourselves free, creating our own conditions respecting what´s important in our lives and sacrifying our health for what our heart beats for. 

I don’t see myself going back to full time employment any time soon after this experience.

And I can not tell where exactly I want to go, you can be everything you wish, but what matters is what you keep doing. And with this question I will finish: What can I do today to send me down that path?

All of you know, whatever it is, keep doing it. :)

I´ve been liking those reflections at the end of the day..
Ni

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what matters

DIY - salt scrub for the scalp

Helloooo everyone :D It´s finally weekend! The weather here in Portugal near Lisbon is not the best for going to the beach.Just for a walk maybe, get some fresh air outside when taking the dogs for a walk but not really for hanging around next to the sea like we are used to, because it´s way too windy. So staying at home in comfort clothes, watching series and doing girls stuff or BLOGGING seems nice to me :). Today I´ll be writting a bit about a salt scrub I found out beeing perfect to get rid of the flaky and dry scalp I am dealing with.. Like you may understand, the past weeks, have seriously ruined my nervs, my apetite and even the mood for sports. That´s why my head now reflects all of this with such a nice gift..(oO?). After some research about some home made recepies I found one which I definitely wanted to try out, which is really simple to prepare and has ingredients that I use a lot for cooking and for beauty stuff,easy things to find in every household. This is something you better take some time for because it will be good to keep the mixture for a while with a towel wrapped over your hair. In case you are doing at the same time other tasks at home (like in my case), you will look probably like a ghetto queen, so you better keep boys, husbands and boyfriends outside or lock them in the basement. They  just don´t need to know the other side of beeing a woman ;P.

You just need to moosh a mixture of two parts of sea salt to one part of olive oil. The original recipe was with coconut oil, but this one I don´t have so I used olive oil as a substitute what is something everyone here in Portugal has in the kitchen. Cmon I mean it´s almost like water for the portuguese :).

Outtakes!

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sea salt

Finally the most wanted furniture arrived..

Hey there, hope this post finds you well.. :) it´s not usual to update the blog during the week but I will do my best to keep things rolling more often  from now on. Things are getting organized now, and at the moment I am reflecting about this.. Di is lying next to me, holding Mias ass in my face (????).. I know this sounds weird but.. I was trying to explain her that my love for her cat is not the same love she felt, mainly when it comes to clean up Mias poo... and we just started laughing like crazy.. We have a lot of stupid moments like this one, it just feels good laughing about things others just don´t understand.. She is getting bigger and bigger (the cat) comparing her size now from the day on when she and Di moved in for a short period. I was having a really hard time and needed someone around me, so the fact that she (Di)stayed, was probably the biggest prove of compassion and companionship I ever had from a friend. I never was that heartbroken before. 

She didn´t asked complicated questions, she didn´t judge me for the mess I was when she arrived at my apartment and found me that way. No words how to describe what I feel for this girl, I owe her a big one.. She didn´t gave up on me, even when I had no strengh to move on, she remembered me why I should and helped me putting behind what no longer takes part of me, even when it´s hard, even when it hurts and told me to accept things and choices as they are. It´s no longer in my hands. There is always a cure for everything, even for love, she said. And time is the best medicine to scarre over the black hole in my stomach. I still can not talk, I just want to forget about it and let it fade away.

So again, I lost myself in words... What I actually wanted to talk about was... my new bed, or better, an old bed of a friend turned a new bed for me. :)

It is not a strange piece to me, because I already slept on it almost two years ago. The story about it: a friend of mine moved out from the apartment he shared with another friend of ours in Lisbon and he asked me before he left: "Hey Ni, do you wanna keep my bed?", and I looked at him and asked: "Really? You meen your fancy King Size Bed? you wanna give it to me?" and he said: "I prefer you have it then give it to someone else just because I could not take it with me". I was so fucking happy! Of course I will pay some bucks for it, but hey! you want a better deal than this? So cool! :D 

There is another sentimental story behind it, but not everything should be revealed on the internet, some secrets we better keep for ourselves.

So now that we brought the huge piece home on monday, it took three persons to carry it!!!!, I´m all into decorating my bedroom. I want it cozy but sofisticated because the bed is black and it´s a heavy tone which needs to be carefully combined with textures, fabrics and colors. What is not that easy when you have a small room. I took some inspirations from the pictures and I am still finishing the whole thing. As soon I can I will show you some details :).

It´s time to rest guys! Good night! :)

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real life story

Medicine for the Soul..

I love the light at 6pm in my kitchen.. After work Di and I came home and chilled eating fresh food and listen to some tracks to relax and unwind :)

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!My life has a soundtrack.. :)

For the soul...

For the heart.. 

For the mind... 

This Lyrics...

"Stay The Same"

A night train.
Midnight.
Bags gathered round my feet.
Possessions,
some lessened,
to carry with me.
Heavy
and soothing.
Like a gentle symphony.

I rest my
head right
back upon my seat.
It's hard and
cold, though,
the best thing for me.
This train is
movin'
but my heart is stationary.

Seasons change,
it will never be the same.
I'm hopin' I won't stay the same.
Reasons strange..
Why we all must play these games?

I left it
with you,
a note that was discreet.
I made sure
I put it
upon the cellar door.
It's hanging,
hoping,
will you read it while I weep?

Last time,
the last time,
it flickers through me.
So vivid
it rushes
from my head down to my feet.
We're laughing,
joking,
through a dance to my defeat.

Seasons change,
it will never be the same.
I'm hopin' I won't stay the same.
Reasons strange..
Why we all must play these games?

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tomato

A Saturday afternoon at the beach

It could be like this every day.. just shut down from all thoughts which are running through my head, clear the mind view and probably the best spot possible to write.
The past weeks have been perfect for a mind detox, it was not only having time for self reflection but I also had time to understand how far I came off road from the path I was persuing.
I hardly recognized that I was denying  the reason which actually put me in this position at the moment. A neverending struggle against loss.
Beeing always someone able to define where I was and where I wanted to be in life, never beeing afraid of failure, I was capable to point out exactly what I had to do to reach it and no matter what it would cost, I would go for it without hesitation.
Then there was a brake in this chapter and life presented me with a huge burden which pulled me out from where I wanted to be, it was not imediatly it took a couple of years to progress.
When my dad passed away, it was not only loosing someone I cared or loved as much or even more then myself, although good and bad things happened between us, it was loosing a pilar which sustented your existence throughout your intire life and broke your bubble of protection and resistence in an emotional way.
I now can say that a part of me was gone as well with him, and soon or later dealing with it was the only way to get over it.
You might have been hurt till your deepest essence and back, feeling like you are so broken that you hardly can stand up and just move the fuck out of where you are, but it will not be understandable for those you hurt just because you were not prepared getting knocked out again.
So basicly hurting first not to get hurt turns out to be the protection shield you need and you use it, every time when you heart alerts danger and abused of it till exaustion of others and yourself.
No work, no hobby, no friends, no boyfriend, neither your dreams, really nothing will be the reason for solving this conflict with yourself. It´s a fight you have to manage on your own with yourself, this means growing out of yourself and be conscious that this is not about bringing others to understand how you feel about this and how this affects the wrong choices you´ve made before (no one ever will, unless they walked the same steps in life as you, what is pretty much impossible), most of all, it is about forgiving yourself for commiting faults and fail, although you know to avoid them and criticize yourself for it.
Some days we are strong and others we just don´t, we can not blame ourselves for imperfection. It´s our nature.

First rule of your first day of the rest of your life: Treat yourself well and be surrounded by those ones which perfectly understand you intuitively without long explanations, they will stay because they feel what you´re feeling and beeing hard or not for them, they will stay because it makes sense for them to give as much it makes for you to accept that you do not have to be alone. It´s about those things life is all about.

By the way, this picture I found by accident in an old cam which I start using again. 

Living a dream without knowing it :)

It´s enough for today, I feel like my beach towel neighbours are starring because I write and write and write. Time to jump into the sea and take some pictures. Wish you all a nice weekend marzipans, *chuack

Ni

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struggle